I have finally got through SP4 and to think FYP is just going to start on mon, which is later. 3 weeks of SP4, barely surviving. Sleepless nights and the 2 overnight stays in school campus without any air-con was indeed torturous. Sweating madly in the lab, eyes was barely open and I still have to do up my work in this uncomfortable position.

This SP4 was not a good one at all. Lacking of sleep which eventually screwed up my final presentation. I was at a loss of what to say and my mind was blank. And so I gave up speaking in the end and pass it on to my groupmates to continue presenting their concepts. SP4 made me realise my flaws and I am not strong in this at all comparing myself to others. Projects bring nothing, but only trouble and conflicts. Damn vexing when I think about all these.

I am waiting for the results to be released before I make a further decision. I need to think carefully where I want to go and what I really want to study. Cant afford to make the wrong decision again. I am struggling in this course which I am currently taking. All along, I thought if I can put in that extra hard-work and tries my best, I will make it. The more I tried, the more I find it is actually not suitable for me. Some people might not see the hard-work I've put in. I put in the effort and hard-work for my own success, its not because I want to showcase to everyone. I don't want to start all over again, but if this is my choice, I will accept it. What's the point of holding a diploma which you totally have no interest in it and get it just for the sake of completing the course because you have spent 2 years on it.

This is how I visualise my own future as always. I see myself as a DJ on live broadcast or even just opening a shop and selling stuffs. I love the times when I opened up my own blogshop and designed my own tees and sell them. If there is one customer who purchased my tees, it means there's one more person in this world who is appreciating me and the designs. This makes me love designing. Tutor's comments might be harsh, I can accept them, but it only made me realise I have no talent in designing nor scripting.

Been thinking too much these days. Yes I am unhappy in this course as time goes by. Its the friends that I have made over the 2 years that kept me going and stop me from leaving. And yes, I am happiest when FRH was here in SG and the time I spent with my friends. This does not mean I will neglect my studies just because of this. I need to find the right path now, the one that will stay with me forever and that wil be my future. I need time to think it over.